When Darkness Breaks Read online

  Drake sat for a few more moments and finally let go of all the sorrow and pain he’d been holding in all of those years. Soon he felt cleansed, forgiven, and for the first time in a while, at peace.

  He stopped only once more on the way home to pick up dinner.

  ***

  Drake was surprised to find all of the lights off when he arrived home. As he turned the key in the front door, he heard an old familiar song playing. The ultra-talented Percy Sledge belted out ‘When a Man Loves a Woman.’ He followed the sound to the master bedroom and found Amber waiting, and wearing nothing but a smile.

  “I took a shower and couldn’t find a thing to put on.” Her smile was teasing and dirty.

  Drake mirrored her gesture. “I think you made an excellent choice.”

  Then he took her in his arms and kissed her lips, passionately and with force. For a moment, he forgot that she might still be in pain. He paused, only to be met with Amber’s arms, as she pulled him closer and tighter to her body.

  “Don’t stop.” Her voice sounded ragged and needy.

  She ripped open his button-up shirt and kissed a path from his neck down to his belly button. She paused only to unbutton his pants and lower them to the floor. Her eyes hungry, her skin on fire.

  She looked up at Drake as he helped her stand. He picked up his lady and carried her to the bed.

  Drake gently covered her body with his, atop the down comforter that felt like clouds against their skin. Amber’s pulse raced and it matched their broken breaths. Kisses were delivered hard and fast, with an aching need. He ran his fingers through her soft auburn hair, then downward on her neck, and lingered for a moment on her voluptuous breasts. They felt amazing. It was as if he was touching his wife for the first time. His hand continued down the outer edge of her waist and hips, and then moved inward. All the while, Amber rediscovered every inch of his body with her lips, tongue, fingers, and any other body part she could use to make contact with him.

  Not wanting to misunderstand her pain level, Drake asked, “May I?”

  Desperation laced Amber’s reply, “I want you so badly.”

  The passion continued, as they mirrored each other’s movements—kiss for kiss, touch for touch, and breath for breath, until the moment finally came and they fell together.

  They stayed tangled in each other’s arms for the duration of the night, and enjoyed the most peaceful sleep they had both experienced in years. Neither of them turned away from the other even once during the night.

  ***

  Amber awoke before her husband the next morning. She tiptoed out of the room and closed the door behind her. As she sauntered through the house enveloped by her robe, her mind contemplated all the past events that had taken place there. A smile invaded her face when she envisioned all of the new memories to come.

  Last night had been the most passionate encounter she had ever experienced with her husband. Even an interlude with Paul wouldn’t have been likely to hold a candle to her satisfaction.

  She made her way to the back patio, sat on the steps, and watched the sky perform. A dark cloud moved further away, and the sun once again showed its face. She thought about her children, her husband, and all she had been through since the first tragedy struck, and then again during the recent accident.

  Her life had come full circle, and she was finally right where she was meant to be all along. She had learned that when darkness breaks the soul, it can feel as if there are no options; that no one could understand or fix the pain, and life will always be a series of shadows. But, when the time is right, the sun will reappear to guide the way.

  She had survived the darkest moments of existence and made it through to the other side, no longer broken, no longer afraid, and stronger than ever before.

  QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS?

  This was my first published adult fiction writing. Typically, I write children’s books and parenting books. If you have any questions or concerns about this book or any of my titles, feel free to email me at [email protected].

  One Last Thing … If you enjoyed reading this book and feel others would enjoy it too, please consider going to Amazon, search for my book title or my name, and leave a review. BE SURE TO CLICK ON THE BOX THAT SAYS, “Would you like the viewers to see that this was a verified Amazon purchase?” I would greatly appreciate your feedback.

  Thanks for your support!

  Acknowledgements

  I would like to take this opportunity to thank a few key people who helped make this book possible. Without these awesome supporters, this novel would be nothing less than a saved Word document on my computer.

  Alicia McDaniel: Thank you for your tireless efforts as my primary beta reader. You stuck with me from beginning to end and helped me ensure that the story flowed, that the characters were relatable and engaging, and that I even chose the right names for some of them. Thank you for helping me choose the title. I can’t imagine this book being called ‘Losing Jake’ now, LOL. It’s just wrong!

  Most of all, thank you for being brave enough to be honest with me to help make my writing better. You are an awesome sister and I love you!

  Rebecca Krawcewicz: Thank you for choosing to read my book over anything else in your life at times.  You know what I mean. You helped my scenes come alive with your word suggestions and descriptions. This was my first adult fiction piece and it was even more special than I imagined it would be, because I was able to share it with you, as a sister and a fellow avid reader. I love you so much and appreciate you taking the time out of your busy life to help me make this book a reality!

  Harmony Kent: Thank you for giving me a 3-star rating on this book when you first read it. Your review was not just a run-of-the-mill 3-star rating. The words you used to describe my story built up my confidence and made me want to make it better. You didn’t tear it down; you helped me see how much potential it really had.

  Thank you also for agreeing to be my editor and making my story shine. You didn’t turn my efforts into your own; you simply showed me how to enhance my words. I am extremely proud of this story now and have learned so much about writing and editing from you. I’m forever in your debt!

  Thank you to my readers for giving my ideas a voice and my characters a chance to come alive. I hope you enjoyed Amber and Drake’s journey as much as I enjoyed creating it.

  As a special thank you, I am including the first three chapters of my next novel, ‘Unsevered’. I hope you enjoy Harley and Jewel’s story as much as Amber and Drake’s. It definitely took me a while to be able to move on. 

  Dedicated to all military spouses ... especially those whose loved ones made the ultimate sacrifice.

  CHAPTER ONE

  One.

  One more brush of his skin on mine.

  One more taste of his kiss.

  One more wisp of his breath in my hair.

  People say they would give anything to have ‘just one more’ moment with a loved one lost. That’s not good enough for me. I want it all back. How could I be satisfied with just one more fleeting moment with the only man I’ve ever loved – the one who owns my soul … and will forever?

  I can’t let go.

  * * * * * * * * *

  The silence in my room is broken by the rattle of capsules in a little green bottle I hold in my trembling hand. I blink and hot tears stream down my face.

  Two of these magic pellets can give me the sleep my body is craving, but a handful can bring me eternal relief from the agonizing pain ripping my heart to shreds. They may even take me to meet Harley.

  Life goes on as normal around me. Dad is busy with his new wife and daughters. My best friends, Chelsea and Gretchen, are workaholics. Mom is the only one I worry about. She and I grew quite close during my teenage years when Dad was busy with work. Most mother-daughter duos fight during that stage of life, but we clung to one another, keeping each other safe. I begged her to buy a house close by when I moved away to college. She didn�
��t want to give up her home. I understood that. It was the only house we’d ever lived in as a family.

  Mom stayed with me for a few days after I got the news about Harley, but being the ever-stubborn, fiercely-independent person I am, I convinced her I was fine so she would go back home. I knew she couldn’t afford to miss much work.

  Settling into married life, I was happy to spend all my time with Harley. Now he’s gone. There’s a void in me that no one can fill, not even my mom.

  I stare into the bathroom mirror, but I don’t like what I see. My puffy eyes are heavy with bags. No amount of concealer can hide the frown lines I’ve earned the past few weeks.

  I shuffle to my bed and place the bottle on my night stand. I grab Harley’s pillow and press it to my face; the faint traces of his cologne still remain. His watch rests where he left it. He said he didn’t need it because, “It will be as if no time has passed when we see each other again. We’ll pick up right where we left off.”

  Liar.

  Chelsea and Gretchen—my best friends from college—live less than thirty miles from me, and they use that phrase too. We make plans to get together often, but it rarely happens. We maintain our feigned satisfaction with the situation by saying, “I haven’t seen you in forever, but it’s like no time has passed.” We’re going in different directions. No matter how good the intentions, life changes things.

  I sniff a time or two and wipe my cheeks again. My hands shake as I grab the little green bottle one last time. I dump a few pills into my hand, and then add several more for good measure. I reach for my water bottle and prepare to toss back several of them. One for each memory I can’t erase. I close my eyes and pray it won’t take long for me to get to him. I’m so sorry, Mom.

  Just as the first pill is about to meet with my tongue, the radio comes on by itself and plays a soft version of “I Got You Babe.’’ My nose is invaded with the scent of Eternity cologne and a disembodied voice sends chills down my spine.

  “Don’t do it, Jules.”

  * * * * * * * * *

  I would know his voice anywhere. “Harley? Oh, Harley.’’

  “Yeah, baby. It’s me. I’m here,” he says, his words calm and soothing.

  A tremble reverberates throughout my body. The tears seem to pause midstream on my face. My voice is barely audible.

  “Where? I can’t see you. I must be dreaming.”

  “No, you’re not dreaming. You’re grieving. And you’re about to make the biggest mistake of your life.”

  If my hands were shaking before, they are almost convulsive now. Even my veins quiver at the sound of his voice. I wipe my eyes and run my fingers forcefully through my hair a few times. I slap my cheek to make sure I’m really awake. It hurts. Yes, definitely awake.

  My inner thoughts escape through my mouth.

  “This can’t be happening. You’re dead. I’m just hallucinating. It’s the pills. Just the pills.” I nod my head a few times with vigor to confirm it to myself. I look down at the bottle still in my hand; I haven’t taken them yet. I put the capsules back in the bottle and close the lid.

  “I’ve been watching you since the moment I died. I know what you were about to do.”

  My eyes shift toward the floor.

  “But what’s the use in living if I can’t be with you? At least we could be together this way.”

  “It doesn’t work like that, sweetheart. You can’t kill yourself to be with me. We won’t end up together.”

  Tears flood my eyes. “But I miss you, Harley. I want to be with you. There’s nothing here for me anymore. I don’t want to live without you.”

  The room is silent for a moment. I call out his name to ensure he’s still there. Moments later, he speaks again.

  “I know. I miss you too. But I lived out my destiny. I died doing what I was meant to do. I served my purpose in the world, and then I was called home.”

  “But your home is here with me. You belong here!” Anger and desperation seep through my words.

  “The universe is done with me, but it isn’t done with you yet, baby. You haven’t fulfilled your destiny.”

  “And what is my destiny?” My tone is sarcastic. I walk around the room, grasping air, trying to touch the voice I’m hearing.

  “I can’t answer that for you; only you can discover it. But I know you’re going to do great things in your world.”

  “I don’t want to live out my destiny without you. We were supposed to be together forever, remember? We’re, unsevered.”

  My sobs return the minute that word escapes my lips. My mind slips into a memory of the day I first heard it. We’d just returned from our honeymoon and Harley said he wanted to go for a drive. He loved to surprise me, so I had no idea what awaited me.

  * * * * * * * * *

  Harley adjusted the blindfold he had placed over my eyes moments before. “Uh-uh, no peeking,” he said. I smiled and pictured his dazzling blue eyes flickering with pure delight, the way they always do when he’s happy or excited.

  I threw my head back, lost in the moment, as a warm breeze danced across my face, offering the sensation of a dozen butterflies hovering in search of a soft place to land.

  The 1965 Chevrolet Malibu eased down a bumpy, winding road, and finally stopped.

  “Okay, we’re here,” he said.

  Harley slid the blindfold off my eyes and a strong scent of salt air invaded my nose. The ocean!

  I scrutinized the view and absorbed the magic. Endless sand was veiled by beautiful, white seagulls. The waves performed a melodic tune as they covered the shore.

  The beautiful Victorian beach house was more spectacular than anything I could have conjured in my imagination. It was a subtle taupe color, with windows that released outward at the bottom, allowing the ocean breeze to drift throughout the house.

  My feet shuffled to the front porch and lingered on each pristine step before I reached the door. In a mesmerized state, I jumped when Harley’s arms wrapped around my waist.

  “Do you like it baby?”

  “Like it? Harley, I love it!”

  “Well, don’t you want to see inside our new home?” His smile was wide, his eyes teasing. “Consider it a belated wedding present from my Uncle Walter.”

  “What?”

  “Remember, I was his favorite nephew. He always told me it would be mine if…”

  I didn’t allow him to finish his sentence. “Oh no, he died! When?” I was frantic for a moment, worried about Harley losing his favorite relative and experiencing a pain from being lied to by my husband, by omission, anyway.

  He laughed. “Calm down. He didn’t die. He just decided to move into a smaller place to avoid the upkeep. He sold it to me for a very fair price.”

  I slapped his chest in a playful manner. “Don’t scare me like that.” I took another look around and said in a breathy voice, “Well, it’s a heck of a wedding present. Remind me to send him an exceptional thank-you card. It’s beautiful.”

  His gaze shifted toward the ground. “I hope it brings you some peace and comfort while I’m away.”

  His words were gentle but pierced tiny holes into my heart just the same. My lower lip quivered and I reminded myself to breathe; that we still had time. To my relief, Harley changed the mood with one of his typical ‘glass-half-full’ suggestions.

  “Let’s not talk about that. We’re here together now, and I want to enjoy every minute with my wife.” He pulled me close and covered my still-trembling lips with his.

  I let out a squeal as he hoisted me into the air and carried me over the threshold of our new home. I cupped my hand over my mouth and eased out of his arms to soak in the spectacular view.

  The first space I entered was a massive living room, with immaculate, hardwood floors from wall to wall, and vaulted ceilings. An elegant, winding staircase to the left was covered in plush, beige carpet. The windows were veiled by sheer, white curtains, which allowed privacy without masking the
view of the expansive ocean background. Not that it mattered much since, “There are no neighbors within a few miles of us,” Harley informed me.

  I sauntered to the kitchen on the right and slid my fingers across the marble island countertop that was lined by four swivel-backed bar stools. The appliances were custom-designed to match the chocolate-colored marble and a wine glass holder rested above the island. It was just like the one in a magazine I had shown him not long ago. He’d obviously paid attention.

  I walked from room to room, upstairs and down, and discovered cleanly-designed spaces with no overpowering floral or striped patterns. It was exactly how I would have designed it myself, and I was impressed my husband already knew me so well.

  I turned to Harley with narrowed eyes. “You did all of this?”

  “Well, I had a little help. Our friends pitched in.”

  “How did you have time? These are all the things from our apartment.”

  “It wasn’t easy. I had to enlist some professional help to get our furniture moved out of our apartment while we were on our honeymoon. As far as the painting and decorating, you were pretty busy with planning the wedding so I was able to work on it in the evenings and some on the weekends. It really helped when you went on that spa retreat for a long weekend with your bridesmaids.”

  “And I was wondering what you were going to do to keep busy while I was away,” I replied with a chuckle.

  I continued to inspect the house and walked toward the glass doors situated off the living room. I stood on the back porch, facing the ocean. The warm mist from the sea sprinkled my skin. It became my favorite part of the whole house.

  As I walked back inside, I saw a sign above the front entrance. It read, ‘UNSEVERED’.

  Harley noted the confusion etched across my face, placed my hands in his and said, “It means we will never be apart in spirit, even if we’re somehow separated physically.”

  The room was silent. A tear threatened to escape my eye, but relented when a sense of desire washed over me. I looked deep into his eyes.

  “Take me,’’ I said. “Take me now.”

  Needing no further convincing, he placed both my cheeks in his palms and kissed me as we lowered our bodies to the stairs together.

  Our eyes remained locked on each other and our tongues danced with strong intention. In between hard, fast kisses he said, “I love you so much, Jewel. I want to make love to you.”